Monday, April 16, 2007

Confessions of a Spray Butter Addict

Sometimes, I set goals for my eating habits. Small goals... goals that seem attainable even under the most lazy and sloth-like conditions; goals like: Eat salmon and a salad for dinner at least one night this week.

Easy right? Yes, for the normal dinner-making individual, tossing a salmon fillet in the oven isn't exactly the definition of strenuous when it comes to a cooking technique. Tearing open a bag of pre-cut, pre-washed salad and transferring it to a bowl... I believe two-year-olds have the motor skills necessary to accomplish that.

For Lou though? Not so simple.

My typical evening weeknight meal:
1 paper towel
1 pita
1 bottle of spray butter

Place paper towel on coffee table; top paper towel with toasted pita bread; top toasted pita with a puddle of spray butter.

Repeat as necessary.

After several a few weeks of wasted salmon and expired bags of salad, I am happy to report that I finally beat bread and fake butter demon and accomplished my goal. Let’s check the score, shall we?

Lou: 1
Spray butter and pita: 53,492,834,702,734

I'd like to thank myself, my sheer determination, and the Abs Diet book—I never could follow your diet for more than a day, but your recipe for a salmon marinade made this all possible. I gave it a new name:

Lou’s Lonely Lil' Fillet of Salmon*
*Modified from the Abs Diet recipe Salmon Rushdie, which like all the other recipes in the book has a really stupid name. I mean… I get it. But what does the salmon recipe have to do with the writer?
Serving size: 1

1 tsp olive oil
1 tsp minced garlic
½ tsp lemon juice
1/8 tsp ground flaxseed
salt and ground pepper

1 salmon fillet (suggest maybe 3-6 ounces)

Preheat over to 450 degrees. Put all of the ingredients for the marinade in a baggie that zips. Put the salmon in the baggie. Zip it. Shake it. Let it sit in the refrigerator for like 15-20 minutes (I have marinated it overnight too and that works well too). Take the salmon out of the baggie. Put some foil on a cookie sheet; put the salmon on the foil; put the cookie sheet in the oven for 10 minutes. Take it out. Put it on a plate (unfortunately, a paper towel will not work). Throw the foil away and the cookie sheet is still clean (in my opinion anyway).

Done and done.


@ said...

You may have missed your calling.

I know i tend to joke around about stuff like this. Right now, I'm for serious.

heidikins said...

ooooh! I'm trying it! I have had ritz crackers with cheese & pickles a few too many times to pass this up. I'll let you know how it goes. :)