Friday, June 15, 2007

20 Million Questions

SP: Lou, let’s play 20 questions.
Lou: Why?
SP: It will be fun.
Lou: OK.
SP: OK. I’m thinking of something. Go.
Lou: Is it your dog?
SP: No.
Lou: Is it Katzy?
SP: No.
Lou: Does it come in pill form?
SP: No
Lou: Can I get high off it?
SP: No.
Lou: Is it a shoe?
SP: No.
Lou: Is it my shoe?
SP: No. I just said it wasn’t a shoe.
Lou: Well, if it’s not a shoe…
Katzy: Is it an animal?
SP: No
Katzy: Vegetable?
SP: Yes.
Lou: Is it an eggplant? It’s an eggplant, isn’t it?
SP: No.
Katzy: Can I eat it?
SP: No.
Lou: Wait! But, you said it was a vegetable...
SP: No... that means it’s made of vegetable material. Everything is either made of vegetable material, animal material, or mineral material.
Lou: Is it a boca burger? Those fake meat crumbles?
SP: No. It's not something you can eat.
Lou: I don’t get it.
Katzy: It means it is made of natural material.
Lou: OH OK… Is it the dog?
SP: You already asked that. And the dog is made of animal material.
Lou: I’m with you now. Go on.
Katzy: Does a professional use it?
SP: No.
Lou: What do you mean “professional”?
Katzy: A tool of a trade.
Lou: But if it is a vegetable, wouldn’t a chef use it? That’s a profession.
Katzy: No. That’s not what that means.
Lou: I really don’t get it. Just… nevermind.
Katzy: Do we have one of these in the apartment?
SP: Yes.
Lou: Can I eat it?
SP: No.
Lou: Is it in your refrigerator?
SP: No.
Katzy: Is it wood?
SP: Yes.
Lou: It’s chopsticks isn’t it?
SP: No, but good guess.
Lou: Is it pointy?
SP: Yes.
Lou: Could I stake a vampire with it?
Katzy: Vampires aren’t real Lou.
Lou: And all this time I thought one was hiding under my bed... now I will sleep easier knowing the truth. Thank you.
Katzy: Fine.
Lou: But this is a perfectly legitimate question. If I needed to stake a vampire, would I use “this” to do it?
SP: No.
Lou: It’s a toothpick isn’t it?
SP: Yes.
Lou: Damn right it’s a toothpick.


Katzwinkel said...

I'm going to use that question in every game of Twenty Questions from now on. It will forever be question four.

1) Is it an animal?
2) Vegatable?
3) Mineral?
4) Can I stake a vampire with it?

Lou said...

What about question 5: Is it the dog?

Lou's Sister said...

After reading the post my guess would have been my sister smoking crack.