I like boys. Despite my best efforts, I am still attracted to them. In particular, a certain cute boy at work has caught my attention. I don’t know his name nor do I know which department he works in. All I know is that once in awhile he and I will end up on an elevator together, or he will pass by the hallway where my office is located, usually while I’m saying/doing something insanely stupid (for example, he walked by as I was pointing at the binder clip I was using to hold together the place on my dress where a button had fallen off – it was, of course, across my chest – and telling @ that this kind of “stuff” is the reason crazy people on the train talk to me).
Earlier in the week, he and I were riding the same elevator… just the two of us. Now, I’ve been there a year, and since one would assume that I would have at least seen him sometime in the last 12 months, one can only guess that he must be new to the company. So there you have it, trapped in an elevator that moves at the pace of a congested Chicago highway, I had four floors to make my presence known and say something (anything!), which as I worked it out in my head between floors one and floor two, I decided it should be something to this effect: Hi, I’m Lou. I don’t think we’ve met.
Simple, yet genius.
I stood there, almost paralyzed, attempting to mentally pumped myself up to say those eight little, completely non-threatening, non-suggestive, from-one-co-worker-to-another words.
Finally, as we moved from floor three to floor four, I glanced over, the message on the tip of my tongue, and observed that the cute boy had taken off his glasses. He was rubbing his eyes. I swear to God this is what went through my head:
Oh, well… he looks busy. I don’t want to bother him.
The doors opened, and we exited the elevator.
BUSY? He looks busy!?!? At 9am, standing in the world’s slowest moving elevator, he rubs his eyes and I back down because – obviously – he is otherwise engaged. You know, with his dry, itchy, red, possibly irritated… possibly tired… eyes.
I hate that I know the appropriate word for me in this scenario. I’ll spare you.