Wednesday, July 11, 2007

For Literal

Day 2: The search continues for the missing hairbrush. In the meantime, I will continue to rock the ponytail/headband combo.

I was an unwilling participant in some homeless man’s bizarre attempt at matchmaking on the train. It was late, after 9pm, on the Brown line home tonight, and I was starring out the window, half listening to an inane conversation the disheveled, toothless man sitting across from me was forcing upon the somewhat less disheveled man sitting behind me.

Homeless: You homeless too?

Almost Homeless: I ain’t rich.

Homeless: What you need is a good lady…

In the reflection of the window, I could see Homeless gesture in my direction. At this point, I started thinking:

Oh God Please No Please Don’t Talk to Me Please No Oh God.

Almost Homeless: I already got a lady.

Close one.

3 comments:

Nikkie said...

Speaking of uncomfortable situations on the El...on my way to work today a heavy-set woman was standing next to me as I sat. Every time the train would get bumpy she'd hit me in the head with her butt. Since the Blue Line is so bumpy (although it's "fast-tracked" to get fixed) she hit me in the head with her butt at least five times.

Just thought I'd share :)

@ said...

speaking of disheveled, i sat behind k-fed on the bus this morning.

sometimes i regret my eagerness to meet people "in the neighborhood."

Lou's Sister said...

Homeless Person Fact #1: Various shelters throughout the city of Chicago assign badges to the homeless inhabitants. These badges look similar to say, I don’t know, an official city worker at The Taste of Chicago.

Homeless Person Fact #2: Homeless shelters kick out their nightly inhabitants at 6am every day and they are left to wander the streets of Chicago looking for cash or “something to keep them busy.” (A quote from a homeless man in Chicago.) These people wander around and those who appear to be “less homeless than others” could be mistaken as official city workers at The Taste of Chicago.

Homeless Person Fact #3: I am flattered when an “official city worker at the Taste of Chicago” tells me I look like Michelle Pfeiffer. So flattered I don’t pay attention after the “official city worker” tells me he is homeless and explains Facts #1 and #2 to me. I still ask him to help me carry some boxes to our booth and then let my boss tip him $2.