Thursday, October 04, 2007

The Universe Must Die

You know that phenomenon when time simultaneously moves too fast and too slow? Hours tick by faster than I can check off items on my to do list: clean my apartment, wash my clothes, get my marathon-ness in perfect order, prepare and eat nutritious meals, and sleep. There’s simply not enough time. I get home from work and attempt to relax while intermittently jumping into and out of various tasks. And before I know it… bed time.

And yet… it’s… only… Thurs… day.

I know I’ve marathon-ed all ya’ll to death, but I had no idea that this would be the biggest thing ever… possibly the only thing ever. Yesterday, I was rambling on about fear, consequences, weather, certain death, injury, hydration, dehydration, my outfit, and God knows what else, to my sister, when she asked me this: Yeah, but weren’t you scared before your first half marathon?

Uh… it couldn’t have possibly been like this. Was it?

I did some investigation. Lucky for me, I documented the entire journey right here, forever memorializing “My First Half Marathon” on the pages of the Webernets. So, I was reading my last few posts pre-half marathon, and I sounded calm, at peace with my training, fairly confident that I was prepared for what lie ahead, and eager.

Um… that’s not how I feel right now. I nearly cried this morning on the train as I read about some woman who, without physical barriers or emotional challenges, dreams of posting a marathon time that will qualify her for the Olympic Trials (which, by the way, is 2:47:00). This bitch (and I call her this only from the perspective of someone who is staring a 5:30:00+ marathon in the face; I’m sure she’s a lovely woman) can run 26.2 miles in a time only slightly slower (8 minutes) than it takes me to run half that. This woman does not need my tears, my sympathy, or the energy from my emotional outbursts.

Some other points of note, bullet-style:
  • I finally said “Enough!” with the sugar. After two days of binging like crazy on the white stuff, I went to the grocery store, bought vegetables, fish, bananas, my beloved Smartwater, milk, and Cheerios, and have begun to eat like a normal human being again. Normal being relative – last night my dinner included a bowl of Cheerios, pasta with spinach, olive oil, and shrimp, a couple of pieces of toast, some chips and salsa… and another bowl of Cheerios. I really should stop admitting these things here, but I suppose this is a step in the right direction considering that I ate a pint of Ben & Jerry’s for dinner on Monday.
  • A note on carbohydrates: Sometimes I like to pat myself on the back for a witty, well-timed one-liner. To complete the virtual “pat,” I will share my hilarity with you here… I had lunch with a friend yesterday, a former co-worker, and veteran of several marathons herself. As we parted ways, she said: It’s time to start carbo-loading. I responded: Oh BR… I’ve been carbo-loading my entire life. It’s funny because it’s true. Or maybe it's true because it's funny. Think about it.
  • I met with TR yesterday for one final session before the marathon, which we will both be running. Everyone, myself included, is freaking out about the weather (predicted to be in the mid-80s – HELLO Universe. It’s OCTOBER. We’re in CHICAGO). TR decided the best way to alleviate my fears regarding the heat was to tell me a story about a 28-year-old woman who died when her core temperature (whatever that is) reached 104 degrees and she had a heart attack during a particularly hot marathon. This is the kind of weather where people die, but you… you’re going to do great. Thanks TR. That’s helpful. There is no emoticon in nature that could properly illustrate the look of shock, horror, annoyance, and crazy I must have had on my face at that point.
That’s it for the most part. Tomorrow, I pick up my race packet and goodies; Saturday, I’m going to a pasta party with MM (the first time I will be debuting him at one of “my” social events, as if I need that added stress); and Sunday, we run.

Gulp.

3 comments:

L Sass said...

YAY! I'm heading to the airport in a few minutes. We're predicting 50s/low 60s and some rain. I was hoping for 45 and overcast (weren't we all?)

You'll do fine. Just enjoy the excitement / nervousness and let it carry you along. And get lots of free stuff.

Good luck!

Lindy said...

We're here, we're here!!!! We made it this far, we can DO IT!!!
-your fellow spastic pace group team member.

Kendra said...

Kick some ass tomorrow! Remember your Mile 20 motivation. :-)