I do not watch The Bachelor. I have never watched The Bachelor (lie). I'm not above bad reality television, but The Bachelor. No Thank You Very Much. Watching seemingly accomplished women in their twenties and thirties throwing themselves at some muscle-bound douche makes me a bit queasy.
But, without fail, I always (ALWAYS) catch the last half of the final episode when Douchey McDoucherson picks his future ex-bachelorette.
I cannot roll my eyes far enough back in my head. I just can't. The cringe-worthy speeches, the cliched declarations of love, the empty promises, the (cough - bullshit) moments of "The first time I saw you," and "the moment we kissed," and "I knew..." blah blah vomit hurl puke.
This time the bachelor turned 'em both down. Wait. How do I react to this? Do I continue dry heaving?
Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's the right answer.