Thursday, May 22, 2008

The Fitting

All right people. Before I receive one to three emails and/or G-chats telling me things I already know (what do you mean I haven’t posted in a week?!?!?!), I’m going to go ahead and blog. Think of this as a preemptive strike. Of sorts.

Today, I took the bus to work for the first time in about two weeks. It was kind of nice because public transportation time basically doubles as Lou reading time. I’m still slogging through Triathlons for Women: Training Plans, Equipment, Nutrition by Sally Edwards, which I really wanted to love, but I’m finding a bit tedious -- particularly the heart zones training nonsense. Reading about heart rates and training wheels seems a little too out there for my brain to wrap itself around.

So, I’m riding the bus and reading the book, specifically the chapter about nutrition, and I realize that I’m in the midst of giving myself a bit of a mental pep talk. I mentioned a week or so ago, after the Flying Pig, that I was trying to focus on a weight loss while I trained for my first triathlon. I decided to set my goal as a 10 percent loss, since that seems to be the weight loss world “buzz” of the moment. Loss 10 percent of your body weight and have more energy, lower various health risks, blah blah blah… etc., ad nauseam.

Well, I had a decent two weeks focusing on that goal, and I now only have about 10 pounds to lose, but I’m still hanging in the lower end of the five pound range that I consider to be “my weight.”

So this made me realize two things. First of all, for about two weeks, I have been feeling really good about myself. I think it’s because I have been sticking to my diet, but also because all of this swimming. Forcing myself to get into a swimsuit day after day in front of -- oh dear lord -- my boyfriend, my trainer, everyone in my swim class, and everyone at the gym has forced a level of “just get over it” to happen. Bathing suit shock therapy if you will.

Second, it occurs to me that all of my clothes fit. Now, for those of you who have not struggled with weight loss, this probably seems like an obvious statement (Well of course your clothes fit, why wouldn’t they?). But for those of you who have… you probably know what I’m saying. For nearly two years, I have been approximately the same size.

Initially, when I started with my trainer, I dropped somewhere between 10-15 pounds, which equated to fitting into one size smaller than what I had been wearing. While I haven’t lost any more, I also haven’t gained it back. But I think what’s notable for those of us who tend to ride the highs and lows of the scale is that not gaining weight is sometimes a victory in and of itself. I don’t have a closet full of clothes one to two sizes too small, which has happened many times in my short life. As I have started to mix spring pieces back into the wardrobe (albeit slowly), I have not had to face the prospect of buying new clothes simply because the old ones don’t fit. And while putting on a pair of pants or a dress and realizing it’s baggy is a great feeling, realizing that you can still button buttons and zip zippers without a struggle -- if you’ve been where I’ve been -- is a pretty nice feeling too.


Kendra said...

I totally get what you mean. And you rock.

L Sass said...

I was going to say that feeling good about yourself like that is half the battle... then I thought, "No, it's way more than HALF the battle!" But then I couldn't decide what fraction of the battle feeling good about yourself is.

Three-quarters? Five-eighths? Or should I go 99%?

In any case, it's important, and I am glad you're feeling that way.

Roisin said...

Having been there, I get it too.