Saturday, July 12, 2008

Wholly Batman Triathlon!

Due to a series of bad decisions no one could have possibly seen coming, I have in my possession one bag of laboriously decided upon, carefully sorted, and hand-picked Jelly Belly jelly beans. Read: fruity flavors only, no chocolate pudding, root beer, popcorn-flavored, caramel bullshit in my bag of beans.

Hello Lover.

Apparently, there is a Jelly Belly distribution center in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin… which MM and I stumbled upon when I asked him to drive the Danskin Triathlon's bike course… which we quickly found our way back to after lunch… which resulted in the 1.1 pound bag of Jelly Belly’s.

Oh hell no.

I have a bit of a… how do you say?problem when it comes to Jelly Belly’s. It’s the candy equivalent of Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby. As in, if I happen to have Jelly Belly’s in my possession, they will not be in my possession for long. They will be in my stomach. In order to ensure that I did not make myself sick eating all one point one pounds of beans, MM gave me three small handfuls (which I have already eaten) and commandeered the rest.

And just for the record, I am notoriously (notorious only in my own head mind you) way too cool for the school when it comes to cheese ball tourist crap, but at MM’s request, I accompanied him on on the Jelly Belly distribution center tour, funny hat and all.

He wasn't very happy with me when I took this photo.
I'm guessing he is going to be less happy that I am posting it.

Don't you love it when I start out with a nonsensical tangent about jelly beans when the point of this post is to tell ya’ll that I’m in Wisconsin for the triathlon! Holy triathlon Batman! It’s tomorrow.

MM and I are staying at a Best Western, which has managed to impress me with it’s comfortable pillows, free hot breakfast, and hot tub. And, I stay in a lot of hotels. I mean it’s not super fantastic, but for a Best Western… let’s just put it this way… it is WAAAAAYYYYY better than the sketch pad of a Travelodge we stayed in during the Cincinnati Flying Pig Half Marathon. A little slice of Americana in Newport, Kentucky... but I digress. The only problem here in Wisconsin is that the maid service apparently does not make the bed for you, which is the only thing I wanted them to do and totally ridiculous. WTF?


This morning MM and I went to the race expo and packet pickup where I was marked up (which, let’s face it, kind of makes one feel like a bad ass just you know… because... well shit, you don't mess with a girl who has big numbers written on her arm in permanent sharpie; that's for serious).

All marked up and no place to go.

Also notable, MM not only wore his Chicago Accenture Triathlon shirt, but also his half-Ironman baseball hat. I believe he is experiencing some race envy. Despite the full on race garb, I was relieved to have MM with me, but I have to say, seeing all the women at packet pickup made me kind of sad that I don’t have a lady friend to race with. Come tomorrow morning around 5:30am, I’m going to be all by my lonesome, setting up my transition area, waiting for my wave to start at 8:20am.

But it will be OK if only because it has to.

Let's see... cute little green bag I'll never use again, water bottle, razor, swim cap, dry fit tank top (nice one too) , new race belt with pouch thingy, and new sunglasses... Check...

After I got all my freebies (including a sample of peanut butter – which I already ate... with my finger) and racked my bike, we got back in the car and drove the bike course. It’s not too bad. There are a few “hills,” but I’m sure people who live in places with mountains would laugh at me for daring to label these slight inclines as hills. I am excited to see how I do on the new bike. I didn’t have time to blog during the week much, but I did decide after commuting to work a couple of times, that the new bike is the smartest $800 purchase I have ever made… ever. It is heavenly. Divine, if you will.

Other than that, I’m just eating, sleeping, chatting on the G-mail, sitting in the hot tub, trying not to bug MM while he writes papers and shit, and touring Jelly Belly distribution centers, you know… the usual.

And trying not to crap myself.

Nothing but class on Lou's blog.


Lindy said...

Go Lou! GO Lou! (with a twinge of guilt at that "I'm not running with any women" comment. Can't wait to hear all about it.

You've prepared for a good long while now, I know you're gonna do GREAT!!!! WITH YOUR BAD ASSSSSSSS!


p.s. we stayed in a crappy Days Inn in your beloved Ohio last weekend. It was every bit as nasty as your Travelodge, or at least I thought of you after I took one look at the room. let's just say "Ew." Hair in the corners of the bathroom. Hair in the refrigerator, which I was suprised to even have had. Damn, my ps is longer than my post.

anastasia said...

Lou, good luck tomorrow! I can't wait to hear how it goes. Please, please don't finish that bag of jelly beans tonight. I know it sounds like a good idea now, but like so many things, you will regret it in the morning. :)

Roisin said...

Yay for you being so brave!!!!

I Heard Tell said...

Congrats and Good Luck! Have the best meal ever after your Tri! And then the best night's sleep ever.

L Sass said...

Can't wait to hear how it went!!

Hope you rocked it!!!!