Question: What do business travel and registering for wedding gifts have in common?
Just kidding. I have another answer…
Answer: Both sound really cool, but actually suck. Both are stressful, time consuming, and involve navigating crowds of people who are in my way. Assholes.
MM and I registered yesterday after two months of me saying things like, “We really need to register,” and “Seriously, we have to register.”
I know. It’s like blasphemy. This is the day every girl dreams of; the day she forces her future mister into a fancypants department store to spend five hours of their collective life to hemming and hawing over china patterns and pointing a scanner gun at every salad plate, wine glass, bath mat, and hand towel in sight.
Registering began in the olden days when people got married at 19 and didn’t live together in sin, and they could afford to buy a house because the country wasn’t in the crapper and daddy was footing the bill for the wedding anyway. Something about making sure the bride had all the tools she needed to be a good and proper housewife. I’m making this up.
But it’s all true!
At least for us, it’s a little different. I’m closing in on 30; he’s 32. He’s already been through this once, and I’ve lived on my own since I was 22. We have an apartment together that is filled with furniture (some of which isn’t hand-me-down or garage sale). We have decent stuff, good knives, some nice cookware, more wine glasses than God. Our entertaining consists of filling the house with people who want to watch a football game, which isn't exactly a fine china affair. And really, at what point will we be hosting Christmas dinner? Not anytime soon.
Least I not be misunderstood, I am all for the gift giving. We actually do need a few things, but the task became daunting when I decided that I wanted to be “strategic” about registering. I wanted to make sure that I knew what we needed and what we wanted before we went nutso in Crate and Barrel adding every last crappy kitchen gadget to our registry. Bedding. Definitely. New Towels. Yes. A few choice kitchen appliances. Check.
But then I freaked. Why? One word: Commitment. I felt like I was locking myself into decorating my house based on the color towel I (“we”) chose. What if I don’t like green towels a year from now? Then the opportunity to register would have been wasted. Oh the horror.
It really did stump me for awhile. I mean, I’m not putting together a house for the first time. I have defined what “my style” means… to me anyway. I know what I like, and it can’t be summed up in one or two stores.
I knew I had options. There are online registries that allow you to pull items from any website. I chose not to go that route, and instead--ever the traditionalist--I chose a department store and a home goods store. And once I got started, it wasn’t too hard especially after I actually sorted it all out online. I decided that having a set of matching towels was more important than the actual color, and if I like green, I like green. Fuck it. It’s a towel.
In truth, this wedding is highlighting out my lack of ability to make a decision and stick with it. The only thing I haven't wavered on is the groom (which I suppose is a good thing). And while I think I'm fairly grounded in the idea that this is about marrying MM and us spending the rest of our lives together, I can't help but stress over the idea that, "Oh God this is my only chance and will I regret it if I don't register for a KitchenAid Mixer?"
That's totally insane. Writing this post has helped me realize that. Thanks blog.