Five years ago next month, I met a guy who “wasn’t my type” (read: clean cut, athletic build, had a job) at a dating event called Nerds at Heart. That guy turned out to be MM and eventually, in August 2007, we started dating.
But before we started dating, MM got in touch with me after the dating event to express his interest. We emailed a few times, and I was flattered (he seemed like a “nice guy”), but not interested. I was interested in the other guy I had been on a few dates with who was decidedly more complicated, sort-of employed, had a questionable back story, and was, of course, a writer. That guy, while much more tortured, turned out not to be such a bad dude either, but definitely not the best choice to fill the role of Lou's life partner (or even Lou's longer-term boyfriend).
So while I was dating “the writer” and letting MM down gently (I was honest that I was seeing someone else and the timing just wasn’t right vs. just ignoring him--probably one of the smartest things I have ever done), I had this dream. In it I met a child--a baby still really, maybe just over a year, 14 or 16 months. The baby had dark hair and olive skin--in other words, didn’t obviously resemble the blond and fair yours truly--but I knew, without a doubt, that the baby was mine.
I remember waking up and very seriously trying to figure out where this kid came from. The guy I was dating--not that I planned on having children with him--was similar to me in complexion. No one from my past really matched up.
Of course, it didn’t really matter at the time, but the dream had such an impact on me that it stayed with me for all these years. And when I started dating dark-haired, olive-skinned, part-Filipino MM and eventually realized that he was, as they say, the one, I remembered the dream and knew that the baby, a little girl, was ours.
But of course, one questions themselves when it comes to these kinds of things, and since becoming pregnant, I’ve forced myself to not become too convinced about having a girl, even when in the first trimester I dreamed about a girl a handful of times.
We found out yesterday morning that we are indeed expecting a girl. I am all--at the same time--completely shocked and not at all surprised. And, crazy or not, I believe with all my heart that this baby is that baby from nearly five years ago--the Universe giving me a hint about and maybe a push toward my not-so-distant future.