Wednesday, July 18, 2012

A Journey of 1,000 Miles Begins... Something... Whatever... Nevermind: 38.5 Weeks and Counting

Today, my mom answered her phone, somewhat hysterically, with this greeting:

Nevermind the fact that when I talked to her yesterday, she asked me to call her after my doctor's appointment, which was this morning. Nope, not in labor.

God pregnancy is weird. It's a weird journey full of feelings I can't quite fully describe, but I'm going to try right here, for better or worse, in this blog. You're welcome.

I have reached the point in pregnancy where "real time" has become irrelevant because I am fully convinced that a) I've been pregnant most of my life, or at the very least, two to three years. The time before I was just some huge ass pregnant person is a vague memory that may have actually been a dream; and b) I will be pregnant for the rest of my life. This hard basketball-and-a-half of a stomach that moves separate of me and has a mind of its own will be a permanent fixture on my body until I die of old age decades from now. 

So there's that. 

But in reality, I know that this pregnancy will end sometime between "any day now" and the next three weeks.

And yet, despite feeling like I've been pregnant FOREVER, there is a big part of me that is completely not freaking out (yet, maybe?). At this moment, I truly feel like she'll come when she's ready, barring extreme tardiness, at which point she will be evicted--it's the hospital's policy, etc. I'm not anxious about her arrival, which I think translates into not being excited about her arrival. Or maybe that's because when people ask me, excitedly, "OMG Are you SO excited?" I can't get it up enough to answer in a way that appropriately conveys and equal or greater amount of excitement.

I am excited, but just not in a shout-it-from-the-rooftops way.

But I may feel differently tomorrow. 

No comments: