A lot has happened (not really) in the two and a half weeks since I’ve been back at work. The first week back ended up being pretty stressful because, you know, new routine/daycare/working, and OH YEAH my husband broke his finger (he torn a tendon) and had surgery, AND my sister had to be rescued with her three week old baby from the aftermath of Superstorm Sandy. At some point, I broke out in hives, which has never ever happened to me before.
After that, it got better.
Honestly--and maybe I’m missing the mommy chip in my brain or something--but sending Em off to daycare three days a week has not been that difficult. Maybe this makes me sound like an asshole and/or maybe I’ll look back in a year and realize my life is a total train wreck right now*, but I have truly found it to be not that hard to get out the door in the morning. I don’t feel like I’m trying (and failing) to “do it all.” I don’t sit around and stress about the fact that I’m away from her three days a week.
*Keep in mind, I have a job that tends to be low stress, a work environment that is completely functional, a boss who is totally understanding about work/life balance and being a new mom, and a department with the general attitude of, “as long as your work is getting done...” Plus, I only work three days a week right now. And, I make sure I spend time every weekend and evening making those three work days as easy as possible for the family. I pre-make my lunches. On Sundays, I pick out my clothes and Em’s clothes for the week. We eat freezer meals for dinner Monday through Wednesday (which has been a lifesaver, and I will eventually post about). MM washes bottles and pump parts, and we get Em’s daycare bagged packed every night. Will I eventually hit a wall on being that productive/planful at home? Probably, but right we have a system that works.
But there’s more, and it’s hard to express this in a way that doesn’t sound super cheesey. Regardless, at the risk of making everyone vomit... I don’t know if it’s that Em’s almost three and a half months now or the fact that I have some solid baby-free time every week--it’s probably a little of both--but the whole motherhood thing seems to have gotten way more fun. I don’t know. It’s much easier for me to focus 100 percent on Em when we are together. She responds to our little games with so many smiles and laughs (our favorite games right now are called, “Clap your feet, shake your butt” and “KISSES!” which are exactly what they sound like) that she just makes my heart want to explode. I’ve loved her from the beginning, of course, but now it feels like there’s starting to be some reciprocation and it makes it so much more rewarding.
|Ready for the football game in her Northwestern hoodie. Everyone thought she was a boy.|