Thursday, August 08, 2013

This Is The End

We've come this far, I might as well tell you how the story ends. Right?

In July, I stopped pumping and we starting weaning Emme, at 11 months old, to whole milk. It was kind of the plan, but once I spent the first half of July mostly out of the office, the thought of coming back to work and locking myself in an office for 40+ minutes twice a day was unbearable. Not the mention the fact that I wasn't pumping enough to justify the time and effort. And, moreover, I was in so much pain while nursing, I knew I had reached my limit.

Knowing I couldn't just quit, I refilled my prescription-strength ibuprofen that I took after giving birth, and I took that several times a day to get through nursing sessions. No joke people. I was in near-constant pain. We started dropping nursing sessions one by one until by late July, when we were down to one morning feeding and one evening feeding. By then, I was pain free, thank god.

We've continued like that until last night when I unexpectedly was away at bedtime. My supply has very obviously tanked, most evident by the WTF? look I keep get from Em when she nurses, so I figured now was as good a time as any to drop the bedtime feeding. Tonight was the first night I put her to bed without feeding her. Since she's now far more interested in running around her room like a crazy toddler before bedtime, it really was a non-issue. I'm not sure she even noticed.

And then there was one.

I'm in less of a hurry to completely wean her since I'm not in pain, but the truth is that mentally I'm just done. And while I think Emme will keep nursing if I keep offering, I think she's at the point where if it's not offered, she's not going to miss it. It will probably be another week or two--taking it slow is always the best way to wean--but we've no doubt reached the end of nursing relationship.

I'm hopeful that my hormones don't go completely haywire, and I don't completely lose it emotionally. I expect I may get a little upset,when it's truly over, but mostly, I expect to feel relief that we're moving on with our lives.

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